The Importance of Family in Children’s Ministry

Rachael, Youth and Children's Worker at Sydenham Methodist Church, shares her thoughts on the importance of 'the family' in children's ministry.

*Note – the use of the word “parent” throughout denotes anyone in a parental / caring capacity for the child.

Did you know that it would take 421 years for the church to spend the same amount of time a parent or carer has with a child before the age of 10? It’s one of those figures that makes you think “That can’t be right” - I know I did, when I heard it at a Care for the Family session a while ago. Imagine how much more shocked I was, then, when I ran the maths in my head (I was a teacher in a previous life, don’t judge me!) and realised this is, in fact, about right. Even if they come along to midweek groups and youth club and a Sunday morning, that’s – what? 5 hours, maybe, out of a 168 hour week?

We don’t have much time with children in the grand scheme of things. But their parents do. They can have the most profound impact on their children’s spiritual development, yet many are saying they don’t have the confidence or don’t know where to start. As a parent of a 2-year-old myself, I know how daunting a task it can be. 

Sometimes, we feel the need to hand over to experts. We entrust our car to a mechanic, or our teeth to a dentist, and I think parents sometimes think they need to hand over their kids to an “expert” in spirituality. The thing is: firstly, that’s not what we are as youth and children’s workers and secondly, they’re also forgetting one important thing – we aren’t the experts in their child. They are.

This is why we need to bring parents alongside us in the church. We need to look at family ministry and how parents can be involved – in participating, planning and leading. When we are doing activities like crafts or games, it’s great to have parents involved so their kids can share this fun time with them. When we are teaching children how to pray, or to read the Bible, or to live counter-culturally for God, we need parents to be there so they have the confidence to approach this in the home. And, so often, to see how much of what they are already doing is exactly right.

This may require a shake-up of the way we approach things. Lots of people will say that youth and children’s ministry is the sole domain of the youth and children’s ministry team - and that it should stay that way. But without parents, it’s pointless.

Having said all this... it's much easier said than done. I totally get that! I work part time within my congregation and by the time you take out all the admin and prep and volunteer support and everything else – there isn't much time left. However, one thing I am really focusing on at the moment is building relationships with parents. That is something I can definitely do with no prep, no paperwork, no need to get everyone together for a training session or a course, but I know God can use it to work in those parents and their families. Because without those relationships and those parents on board, we as a church are going to find it incredibly difficult to achieve anything meaningful in the lives of those young people – even if we had 421 years to do it.

- Rachael Gordon

Sydenham Methodist, Belfast